The roots of the Monica Lewinsky affair remind me of a Clairol commercial from the 1970s. Remember bouncy hair? The first shampoos and conditioners that created "true body?"

      "Just washed your hair and can't do a thing with it? Try Ms. Clairol, and you too can be glamorous, and do the president in the Oral Office (I mean Oval Office)."

      Media and political pundits are scrambling to try and understand and explain the Clinton sex scandal, and the American people's ambivalence to extramarital sex and lying to the lawyers. First of all, the American people don't like lawyers, and think they always lie anyway.

      But why did Americans vote for Bill Clinton again in 1996, seemingly ignoring his admission of smoking pot and sleeping around on Hillary? And more important, why do they continue to support him (his approval rating has never been higher) in spite of the alleged Lewinsky affair?

      The answer lies in the demographics of America today, and in the social psychology of the young.

      Here's a clue: Disco is back.

      The moralists of the World War II generation, who still think Ronald Reagan was a great president, just don't get it. And it's not just the economy, stupid!

      The baby boom generation, which make up the largest voting block in America today, replacing Nixon's "silent majority," came of age in the 1960s and '70s, the era of free love and dope. Generation X-ers, on the other hand, came of age in the era of AIDS. The boomers long for their era again, and so do the X-ers. They are tired of the repressive '80s, which has continued for most of the '90s. Both generations support Clinton.

      Our parents (the X-er's grandparents) are still appalled at short skirts, rock 'n' roll, and bouncy hair. They dress conservatively and have their hair done once a week (the men get a trim, the women combed and set).

      Perhaps I shouldn't speak for the entire generation, but I would be appalled to find out Clinton refused to accommodate an attractive, supportive intern with bouncy hair and a short skirt who offered to relieve the sexual tension of the most powerful man on Earth. In other words, I would rather Bill Clinton have an affair than repress his feelings, leading to a dangerous buildup in testosterone. (We sometimes call this DSB. Sorry I can't translate. My students may read this).

      Forget "Wag the Dog." The absence of affairs has probably led to more wars in history than diversionary political tactics. Monica Lewinsky may have helped to prevent American involvement in untold wars. For that, she should receive a medal, instead of an indictment from Kenneth Starr, the Energizer Bunny of special prosecutors. He can't find anything but he won't go away.

      Clinton may go down in history as a philandering president. But when it comes right down to it, this is the best run government Washington has seen at least since F.D.R, maybe the best ever. It's not a story the national press corps is prepared to cover. The last thing any Washington reporter wants to be caught saying is:

      "The economy is great, the government is running efficiently, and all is right with the world."

      That's the kind of Chamber of Commerce PR we all grew to hate as cub reporters. It's the last thing we will admit in a story with a Washington dateline. If the world is so rosy, after all, what do we need with a "watchdog" press?

      Thanks Monica for the story. Our stockholders and advertisers appreciate it.

      And by the way, great hair, babe. Just keep hiding from Ken Starr a few more months, until we get a good war or high profile murder trial to cover.
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