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Family You have to love your children unselfishly. That's hard. But it's the only way. Barbara Bush A grown daughter is like smuggled salt. Chinese proverb Kids aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. Ogden Nash Got a wife, got a family, Earn my livin'- with my my hand. I am a roller in a steel mill In downtown Birmingham. Randy Newman Parents have only two faults: everything they say and everything they do. He knows little who will tell his wife all he knows. Thomas Fuller It's easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future. Ashley Brilliant Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms. Groucho Marx Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control. Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich. Robert Frost Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender. Mary Buckley Kids are hereditary - if your parents didn't have any, you probably won't either. A soiled baby, with a neglected nose, can't be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty. Mark Twain Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient. H.L. Mencken The laws that Charondas gave to Catana ... A man might divorce his wife, or a wife her husband, said Charondas, but then he or she must not marry anyone younger than the divorced mate. Will Durant Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons. Indians scattered on dawns highway bleeding, Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind. Jim Morrison Family life is the most precious thing in the world. Dr. Charles W. Elliot There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it. For the butterfly, mating and propagation involve the sacrifice; for the human being, the sacrifice of beauty. Goethe It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one a failure. Herbert Louis Samuel Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife. She has thought much worse things about you. Jean Rostand Insanity is hereditary: you get it from your kids. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word-for-word what you shouldn't have said. Never lend your car to anyone to who you have given birth. Erma Bombeck All men are idiots and I married their king. Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue. Ambrose Bierce How many people remember all their lives the peculiar fragrance of grandmother's garden, and the selection of flowers in which she delighted. Dr. Charles Elliot Take it from me, marriage is not a word - it's a sentence. King Vidor Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester The family is a good institution because it is uncongenial. G.K. Chesterton A handful of patience is worth a bushel of brains. The only way a woman can reform her husband is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life. Oscar Wilde Familiarity breeds contempt ... and children. Mark Twain The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. The Duke of Windsor We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. Nick Faldo How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. Retirement is twice as much husband, and half as much money. The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. Balzac Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected. Robert Orben The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was to lose their baby teeth. Phyllis Diller If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. Ogden Nash It is almost nicer being a godfather than a father, like having white mice but making your nanny feed them for you. T.H. White Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in. Robert Frost Children are given to us to discourage our better emotions. Saki An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. Queen Victoria The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. E. Joseph Cossman Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. Doug Larson Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children. William Penn Any child can tell you the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. Dennis Fakes A child prodigy is one with highly imaginative parents. Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. Oscar Wilde A bachelors virtue depends upon his alertness; a married mans depends upon his wives. H.L. Mencken Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. Socrates Between the ages of twelve and seventeen, a parent can age thirty years. Sam Levenson Posterity is as likely to be wrong as anybody else. Haywood Broun Birth (n) - The first and direst of all disasters. Ambrose Bierce Copyright İRonald W. Sitton, 2009. Revised 022606 - http://southerner.net/sitron/wis/wfam.html |