Laws

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Laws

Murphy's Law No. 1- If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's Law No. 3- If anything just can't go wrong, it will anyway.

Murphy's Law No. 5- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Law No. 6- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Murphy's Law No. 7- Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Murphy's Law No. 8- Mother Nature is a bitch.

Murphy's First Corollary- Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics-Things get worse under pressure.

Murphy's statement on the Power of Negative Thinking- It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.

O'Tooles Commentary on Murphy's Laws- Murphy was an optimist.

Forsyth's Second Corollary to Murphy's Laws- Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.

Light in the tunnel, now I see. Is that a train bearing down on me? Sitton

Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't make it work.

Morgan's Transitive Rule- If you got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

Iron Law of Distribution- Them that has, gets.

Kelly's Reformation- Nice guys don't finish nice.

Law of Probable Dispersal-Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Hutchinson's Law- If a situation requires undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.

Farnsdick's Corollary to the Fifth Corollary- After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle repeats itself.

Oliver's Law- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Pohl's Law- Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

Osborn's Law- Variables won't; constants aren't.

Boob's Law- You always find something in the last place you look.

Seeger's Law- Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Ginsberg's Theorem- A) You can't win; B) You can't break even. C) You can't even quit the game.

99 rule of Project Schedules- The first 90 percent of the task takes 90 percent of the time, and the last 10 percent take the other 90 percent.

Scott's First Law- No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.

Slick's First Law of the Universe- Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Slick's Second Law of the Universe- A quarter-ounce of chocolate equals four pounds of fat.

Slick's Third Law of the Universe- There are two types of dirt - the dark kind which is attracted to light objects and the light kind which is attracted to dark objects.

Hartley's First Law- You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.

Perkin's Postulate- The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

Leibowitz's Rule- When hammering a nail, you will never hit your finger if you hold the hammer with both hands.

Goldenstern's Rules- A) Always hire a rich attorney. B) Never buy from a rich salesman.

Mr. Cole's Axiom- The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant, yet the population is growing.

Hofstadler's Law- It always takes longer than you think, even when you take Hofstadler's Law into account.

Prodhomme's Law of Window Cleaning- It's on the other side.

Putt's Law- Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.

Cole's Law- Thinly sliced cabbage.

Law of Observance- It is what it is, and it ain't what it ain't.

Anything that begins well ends badly; anything that begins badly ends worse.