Observations

When you have a dilemma, make dilemonade! - Niki Reid

In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Frederick Douglass

It is better to wear out than to rust out. Bishop Richard Cumberland

Ninety percent of everything is crap. Theodore Sturgeon

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. Vince Lombardi

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped, passed gas And was burned to a crisp.

Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.

Parking for Wizards only! Violators will be toad away!

If you itch, just start from scratch.

Surrender! ordered Tom disarmingly.

The Simple is not easy. William Schuman

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Everything that is done in the world is done by hope. Martin Luther

All generalizations are false.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Dolly Parton

One can comfortably give advice from a safe port. Schiller

No sweat said the trainer.

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Autie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. Anatole France

Walk right in, it's around the back, Just a half mile from the railroad track. Arlo Guthrie

Progress is the mother of all problems. G.K. Chesterton

Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand. George Eliot

Take rest: a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. Ovid

The important thing is to know how to take all things quietly. David Faraday

Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality. C.G. Jung

A door must either be open or shut. Alfred Musset

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door! Quoth the Raven, -Nevermore. Edgar Allen Poe

I disapprove of what you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it. Voltaire

What is easy to understand we despise; we need prodigies and miracles. Synesius

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

I shot an arrow into the air, It fell to earth I knew not where. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Mark Twain

Good has but one enemy, the evil; but the evil has two enemies, the good and itself. Johannes von Muller

I'm En-r-y the Eighth, I am, En-r-y the Eighth, I am, I am. Fred Murray and R. P. Weston

The rest is silence. Shakespeare

The rose and the thorn, and sorrow and gladness are linked together. Saadi

I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.

The thoughts that come often unsought, and as it were, drop into the mind, are commonly the most valuable of any we have. Locke

Why did Tarzan sleep in the shrub? Because he was bushed.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice. Confucius

We are not hypocrites in our sleep. William Hazlitt

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring. Doug Larson

Irony is when you buy a suit with two pairs of pants, and then burn a hole in the coat.

Civilization is a transient sickness. Robinson Jeffers

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain

You can never consider that as your own that which can be changed. Publilius Syrus

"~oops"

On the order of abandon ship - all women and children follow me, YOUR CAPTAIN.

We don't repeat gossip so listen closely the first time.

There is the beauty of the spirit; you would not understand.

A small leak can sink a great ship.

The question is, have we been here before, or are we yet to come?

I intended to have my appendix removed, but I didn't have the guts.

Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.

I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper. Cooper explaining his decision to refuse the leading role in Gone with the Wind.

Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane. For illustration, this present lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers. He may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bierce

Copyright 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use. Washington Irving

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. Mark Twain

Every Frenchman wants to enjoy one or more privileges; that's the way he shows his passion for equality. Charles de Gaulle

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. Shane Leslie

People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.

To make a crooked stick straight, we bend it the contrary way. Montaigne

Again and again the impossible problem is solved when we see the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made. Schuller

Before you go off the deep end, make sure there is water in the pool.

All good things that exist are the fruits of originality. John Milton

Cynicism is intellectual dandyism. George Meredith

An idea that is not dangerous is not worthy of being called an idea at all. Oscar Wilde

Curiouser and curiouser! cried Alice. Lewis Carroll

Every decision you make is a mistake. Edward Dahlberg

Champions rise to the occasion.

If you can't win, make someone else break the record.

There are two little words in our language which I always admire - Try and Trust. Samuel Smiles

If you don't have a goal, there's nothing to shoot for.

Nothing is profound. Dale Peppers

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don Juan

Preserve me from unreasonable and immoderate sleep. Samuel Johnson

No limits but the sky. Don Quixote

Good order is the foundation of all good things. Edmund Burke

There are no two dandruff alike. George Carlin

If you don't like it, kiss my mother fuckin' ass. Eddie Murphy

Very funny Scotty, now beam me down my clothes.

The eagle soaring majestically Beholds the lion prowling From now until eternity The philosopher shall be howling And the hoi polloi shall be scowling.

I told you to do it because I didn't figure you would volunteer.

Hire the handicapped, but don't let them take your rectal temperature.

I didn't stutter and your ears aren't flappin'.

The world hates change but it's the only thing that's brought progress.

I don't get even, I get ahead.

Give a Shriner a shiner.

If you don't like it, get the fuck out. Eddie Murphy

Those who attempt to level never equalize. The levelers, therefore, only change and pervert the natural order of things; they load the edifice of society by setting up in the air what the solidity of the structure requires to be on the ground. Edmund Burke

I like people who like themselves.

Recycle confetti.

It takes two dwarves to mail a letter.

When synchronicity is outlawed, only outlaws will be synchronized.

I'd rather be in bed. Ron Sitton

Roses are red, canaries are tweety, lemons are sour and you are my sweety. Snoopy

Only one thing is perfect about me - my Non-perfectionism.

What an artist dies with me! Nero Claudius Caesar

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize. Shaw

The U.S. Plywood building is made of steel and stone.

Look out for No. 1. Don't step in No. 2 either.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Water your flowers, instead of your weeds!

One thing about egoists: they don't talk about other people.

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I used to think I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

You don't say "fucking" when you're talking to a big strange taterneck. Emily Roberts