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Work If a man love the labor of any trade, apart from any question of success or fame, the gods have called him. Robert Louis Stevenson Be broke, get work done. Every calling is great when greatly pursued. Oliver Wendell Holmes The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves. Armand's Law of Management- Everyone is always someplace else. Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists. Work is the curse of the drinking class. Oscar Wilde You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry. Work your fingers to the bone. What do you get? Bony fingers! Hoyt Axton Progress is a comfortable disease. The great thing about writing: stay with it ... ultimately you teach yourself something very important about yourself. Bernard Malamud Everyone over 110 is out of work. Weilers' Law- Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. It hurts my head to make decisions with insufficient information. Emily Roberts Whatever you did, that's what you planned. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. A well-directed imagination is the source of great deeds. Vision is the art of seeing things invisible. Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal. E. Joseph Cossman Without challenge, there can be no accomplishment. Conway's Law- In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains. If you want truly to understand something, try to change it. Kurt Lewin A professional is a person who can do his best at a time when he doesn't particularly feel like it. Alistair Cooke Those who aren't in a position to remedy a situation are in no position to complain. Looking for someone with a little authority? I have as little as anyone. If you aren't in complete control of a situation, anything you do will only make it worse. The trouble with a rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me. Cheop's Law- Nothing EVER gets built on schedule or within budget. First Law of Corporate Planning- Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything. If I want your opinion, I'll fill out the necessary forms. Tell me to 'stuff it'-- I'm a taxidermist. I'd fire you, but I don't mix business with pleasure. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW. Never, never, underestimate the power of human stupidity. Notebooks of Lazarus Long Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them. Important letters containing no errors will develop errors in the mail. Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the Boss reads it. Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets. Ambrose Bierce It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear. Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor- People are always available for work in the past tense. The longer the title, the less important the job. George McGovern If bankers can count, why do they have eight windows and only four tellers? Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then give it back to them. It's easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa. Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job. The best preparation for tomorrow is to do today's work superbly well. Sir William Osler A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. Dean Acheson The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it. John Ruskin Success is more attitude than aptitude. Those with the least amount of work will have the most time to justify their jobs. Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. E. Joseph Cossman The Trojans lost the war because they fell for a really dumb trick. "Hey, there's a gigantic wooden horse outside and all the Greeks have left. Let's bring it inside!" Not a formula for long-term survival. Now if they had formed a task force to study the Trojan Horse and report back to a committee, everyone wouldn't have been massacred. Who says middle management is useless? Adam C..Engst Goodwill is what this old world needs today. We need better business and more of it. We need surer, steadier employment. We need more knowledge and we need more wealth. We need loftier wisdom, and we need a deeper appreciation of beauty in art and in nature; but above all things else, we need goodwill; goodwill that is not a fleeting mood among men, but goodwill among men endorsed and supported by the Eternal goodwill. George A. Gordon The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time. Leo Kennedy Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. Disraeli Consumers are statistics. Customers are people. Stanley Marcus Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. Robert Benchley When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. Marquis De La Grange There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. In a single day, Samson slew a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Everyday, thousands of sales are killed with the same weapon. An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. Alfred A. Knopf Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Henry Ford Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy. Huey P. Long It's true that hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance? Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress. No options said the broker. In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from. Peter Drucker The reward of a thing well done is to have it done. Ralph Waldo Emerson We guarantee fast service no matter how long it takes. Property has it's duties as well as it's rights. Thomas Drummond The effort required to correct something increases geometrically with time. If you don't believe the dead come to life, you should be here around quittin' time. Open when we're here, closed when we're not. Seminars - from "semi" and "arse," hence, any half-assed discussion. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office. Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance. Wite-out correction fluid is a writer's duct tape. A crisis is when you can't say "Let's forget the whole thing." If you have a difficult task, give it to someone lazy ... that person will find an easier way to do it. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer. The ant is knowing and wise but he doesn't know enough to take a vacation. Clarence Day Start by doing what's necessary,then what's possible and suddenly ... you are doing the impossible. St. Francis of Assisi Initiative is doing the right thing without being told. Elbert Hubbard Steam is no stronger now that it was a hundred years ago, but it is put to better use. Emerson If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. Vince Lombardi The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output. I like work. It is fascinating. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K. Jerome Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid embarrassment of estimating the corresponding costs. I do not like work even when someone else does it. Mark Twain Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Thomas Edison Are watchmakers clockwise? Do electricians take charge? Are lady programmers stacked? Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it will only make it worse. Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is. Copyright İRonald W. Sitton, 2009. Revised 022606 - http://southerner.net/sitron/wis/wwork.html |